💛Big feelings after separation: what's common, and when to seek help

General information only — not a diagnostic tool. If you're worried about your child, please speak with your GP, school counsellor, or a registered psychologist.

Things parents often notice

Many children show changes in mood, sleep, appetite, behaviour or schoolwork after a family change. Some common patterns include:

• Clinginess or wanting more reassurance
• Withdrawing or wanting more alone time
• Sleep changes — trouble settling, nightmares, wanting to sleep with you
• Tummy aches or headaches with no clear cause
• "Going backwards" with toileting, baby-talk or routines they'd outgrown
• Big feelings showing up as anger, tears or shutdown
• Worry about you, or about the other parent

For many kids, these settle over weeks to months as life finds a new rhythm.

Signs it may help to talk to a professional

Consider reaching out to your GP, school counsellor or a child psychologist if your child:

• Is regularly unable to enjoy things they used to love
• Has changes that are persistent (more than a few weeks) or getting worse
• Is talking about not wanting to be here, or harming themselves
• Is having frequent meltdowns that feel beyond their usual range
• Is missing a lot of school
• Is using alcohol, drugs or risky behaviour to cope

If you're ever worried about immediate safety, call 000 or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800.

For practical next steps, see free mental health supports for kids, age-appropriate ways to explain family changes, ideas for calmer handovers, and how to involve your child's school without oversharing.

What you can offer at home

• Predictable routines (bedtimes, meals, drop-offs) help kids feel safe.
• Naming feelings without trying to fix them — "that sounds really hard" — is powerful.
• Letting them love both parents (where it's safe to) protects their long-term wellbeing.

You know your child best. Trust that instinct.