⚖️Understanding the ICL, family report writer, and other court-appointed people in your child's life

General information only — this is not legal advice. Every family law matter is different. Please speak with your own family lawyer or a community legal centre about your specific situation.

Who's who

Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL)

A lawyer appointed by the court to represent your child's best interests (not their wishes). They are independent of both parents and may speak to teachers, doctors, the family report writer, and (sometimes) the child.

Family Report Writer / Family Consultant

Usually a psychologist or social worker who meets with the parents and the children, then writes a report for the court. Their observations and recommendations carry weight.

Child Expert / Single Expert Witness

A specialist (often a psychologist) appointed to give evidence on a specific question, like a child's emotional wellbeing.

Contact Centre Worker

A supervisor at a children's contact service who oversees handovers or visits.

Telling your child what to expect

Kids feel less anxious when they know who they're meeting and why. Keep it simple, factual and non-blaming.

"There's a person whose job it is to listen to kids whose mum and dad live in different houses. They're going to ask you some questions. There are no right or wrong answers. You can say what you feel."

What you should NOT do

• Don't coach your child on what to say — children almost always disclose this, and it can damage your case.
• Don't bring it up repeatedly before or after the meeting.
• Don't ask them what they said afterwards. A simple "How was it?" and a snack is enough.
• Don't speak negatively about the other parent to the child — even small comments are noticed and reported.

Where to get free legal help

• Legal Aid in your state or territory
• Women's Legal Service (free, women-only family law advice in most states)
• Community legal centres (find one at clcs.org.au)
• Family Relationship Advice Line: 1800 050 321

For related practical guidance, read about consent orders without a lawyer, what to tell your child's school, and age-appropriate ways to explain family changes. If communication is strained, these low-conflict co-parenting scripts can help keep exchanges factual.

Looking after yourself through this

These processes are exhausting. Lean on your trusted people, your therapist, and the Bloom community. You don't have to be calm — you just have to keep going.